My name is Mara … I live in Chicago … What have I been up to recently? … I have … done a little bit more traveling since the last interview … I went to Austria and Germany last year … and … I’ve also been … focusing in on my work a little bit more … I visited my family when I was in Germany … The first part of the trip was a musical festival … then Austria … then to family for a few days … Everybody got a little bit if everything … culture … music … and family … The music festival … it was called … Wave … Gotik … Treffen … and it’s the largest … EDM … Dark Wave … Goth Rock … festival … of it’s kind … It takes place in Leipzig Germany … The rest of the trip … taking in historical monuments … the Habsburg empire … art museums in Austria … some wine … and then some family … In Austria … we stayed in Vienna … Changes in my life? … Change is the only constant … There has been change … with my family dynamic … being that I’ve lost a pet … which is family … so … that has happened … sadly … My new website is up … and I’m still … nitpicking at that … almost on a weekly basis … to make it top notch … for my standards … Do I think a website is important? … I think it helps to have a concrete … location … on the web … that is your own domain … and I’m happy to say I have a website … because it indicates a certain level of seriousness … especially with my … profession as a dominatrix … I think … having that stable web presence makes a huge difference … I’ve been different kinds of busy … The other change that has taken place is … I’ve lost a … well … I don’t know if it’s lost … but … I was … I got ghosted … if you will … by a long term client … and friend … in the last year … So I guess you can say … a break up of sorts … happened … and … that’s a big change in my dynamic … and … I find that … through that … breakup … I have shifted my focus on … well … what do I want … out of … this life … and business … this passion of mine … With that … I wanted to reassess who … and what I allow into my life … And … has that helped?  … Well … the knots are still being untied … you know … with that … being said … I’m definitely finding … more quality with the sorting out … very slowly though … My fashion? … My fashion sense has definitely changed since I was a teenager … thankfully … I’m sure most people can say that … In recent times … I want to say … that I’m trying to incorporate … a touch more color … but … very selectively … For me … color has always been a risky thing … and as a redhead … I find that … there’s a lot of color schemes … that I can’t … possibly … you know … work with … so I have a limited palette … in some ways … But in regards to my own fashion sense … these days … how it’s changed … I’m trying to incorporate … a little bit of … old time hairstyles … with a modern twist … be it a … 1960’s beehive … or … perhaps … just a nice … backcombing … so … I’m trying to incorporate … old … with new … in a lot of ways … I recycle clothes … I try to make new clothes … out of old clothes … I’ve gotten quite good at sewing recently … so that’s a new change in my life as well … I have … altered … some of my mothers old clothing from years past … like from the seventies and eighties … and I’ve made them more modern for myself … since my mother has a similar built … to myself … My personal style … to quote Machiavelli … “I’d rather be feared … then adored” … So … I think in that context … how I would apply that phrase … to myself … is … I’d rather look like the most harsh … stern … version of myself … in a lot of situations … because … often times I am … put on the defensive … whether it’s in a conversation … or … I have to be on-guard … with my job … so … I feel that leaks into my personal life … into my personal dynamics … and how I engage with the public … so … I tend to look a little more intimidating then I mean to … but it also … let’s say … Let me rephrase that … I think I do mean it … otherwise I wouldn’t do it … (laughter) … Sometimes it’s hard to stomach the idea that someone is calling … me … a … (bitch) … sometimes … when I’m not even being bitchy … I’m just being brutally honest … and I try to reflect that brutal honesty in how I dress … I definitely think of it as armor … because … as a woman … especially … I … I could go to the grocery store … in just very casual attire … and no makeup … and I get hit on … when that’s the last thing I want … I just want to go to the grocery store … So yeah … I like putting on armor … because … it kind of keeps the riffraff at bay sometimes … What kind of fashion am I drawn to when I’m around humans? … Is it aesthetically pleasing to my eye … personally when I look at it … it could be the most colorful thing in the world … it could be a vintage antique  lace … number … it could be anything … if it captures my eye … and I want to look at it more … then maybe I … I guess that reflects … not just an art … but also … in my … what I want to surround myself in … in terms of people … if that makes any sense … Does my mood effect what I wear? … Absolutely … My mood … can determine the outfit right away … Now … granted … I own mostly black in my wardrobe … but on occasion … maybe I’m feeling a little bit vengeful … I’ll throw in a pop of red … just to mix it up a little bit … to sort of … reflect that … emotion … What others wear … if it’s different … yeah … especially … given the fact we’re in the winter season now … I feel it’s just … hordes … and hordes … of black coats … It’s nice to see a pop of color here and … there … or an interesting hat … or gee … strange looking shoes … instead of snow-boots … Ok … Sure … I’ll take it … The world now? … With the way social media is laid out for us … every hour … on the hour … we’re … crunched … essentially between … you know … the teeth of different news broadcasts … or announcements … just seeing repeated … awareness brought to the same subject … over and over again … it’s almost over magnifying the information … and granted … some of these things are … devastating … such as the Australian fires … as an example … Seeing it constantly rotate through your … “feed” … if you will … it get’s exhausting … I find myself needing to … withdraw … just a little bit … when it’s constant bad news … Am I optimistic about politicians in general? … Not really … because they’re all self serving … and have their own private agendas … and frankly … I don’t know which one is more dishonest then the next … sometimes … that’s the problem I have … I wish I could say that I have hope … for politics … I wish though too … that people would let … people in power would let individuals … determine for themselves what they needed … instead of always telling us what we needed … if that makes any sense … it’s as if … “You need to do … this … and this … and this” … and then … in contrary fashion … they go … “But you need to also do this … and this” … and it’s a polar opposite … Well … I can’t win … can I … I try to focus in on local government a little bit more … because I feel … that’s in my immediate scope of power … and jurisdiction … to have a say so in … if that makes any sense … Future plans? … Goals … Hopes … Dreams … and Ambitions … Yes … I’m looking forward to … What am I looking forward to? … that’s an excellent question … I’m looking forward to taking more time for myself … away from my professional identity … to work on … the behind the scenes … “Mara” … if you will … and pursue more of my artistic aspirations … instead of just being … in plain sight … the dominatrix … because … there’s more to the person then … just … a work title … As far as my profession … the passion is still there … I don’t want it to take over my life as it has in the past … I don’t want people to assume … that that identity … is the only identity that I wear … Will I get into making clothes? … designing clothes? … That’s … to be determined … to be honest with you … I think only time will tell what really evolves … I know I would really like to get back to painting and drawing again … like I have in the past … and … I also want to get back to … doing … circus performances … like I used to do … in the past … I performed … at the New York Fetish Ball … at the SMack Fetish Ball … I did aerials … at that particular event … and I cleared … I would say… what was … a forty foot ceiling … on aerial silks … and … that was no easy feat … and I was very proud of that … despite all the stress that surrounded it … Were there safety nets? (laughter) … No … you had to know what you’re doing … and hopefully … not fuck up … Travel and cultural plans? … I want to have a vacation … (laughter) … that counts … right? … I really would like a vacation … because I’m experiencing something … that you might be familiar with … called burnout … I would like to … I would like to be catered to a little bit differently … and in a different setting … for a little bit … just to get away from the Chicago winter … dreariness … Other travel options … I definitely need to get back to Europe for work … I tend to go to London … and Germany … for those endeavors … it works to my advantage … and then I’m hoping … what else am I hoping for? … in terms of travel … I am going to New York … but that’s not until June … That’s something to look forward to … very much so … because of the Bauhaus concert … and because of New York in general … and what mischief I can find myself in while there …

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Ingrid 02-18-20

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Sunny 02-06-20