So my name is Ethan … and I’m from Central Illinois for the most part … I lived in three different locations in central Illinois and then I moved to Chicago … in 2002 … so I’ve been been here ever since then … Growing up … I always enjoyed theater … I enjoyed acting … I didn’t do a lot of it other then school plays … When I was really little … I would put on … a lot of … plays … in my house … that we would make up … and we had a video camera … so we would film things … we would pretend they were tv shows … By the time I got into high school … I did actual plays … in the high school theater … but I didn’t have any really fun parts … because I couldn’t sing … and when you’re doing high school theater … it tends to be musicals … We would do one play a year … and I was always in it … I never got to do anything I enjoyed (laughter) … but yeah … I was typecast as the person that didn’t have any solos … I have three siblings … and my younger brother and I would do the most … putting on shows … although … I think he was just going along with anything I did … what I wanted to do … he was a good sport … I don’t actually know if they exist anymore … but I had a lot of video tapes of him … performing stuff that I came up with … Growing up in central Illinois … I would say that it was pretty quiet … most of my childhood … I was involved with the church a lot … my dad’s a preacher … he’s retired now … so I would do a lot of church activities … most of my friends were from church … and maybe when I got into high school … I moved away from that a little bit more … I had friends that were more interested in art … I’ve always really been into movies … watching movies … So I’d take my friends … and I’d go see … more art house type films … things like that … I enjoyed that a lot more … sort of moving away from a more restrictive upbringing … where I wasn’t allowed to do a lot … I wasn’t allowed to see a lot of things … As far as art … growing up I enjoyed drawing … but I was never good at it … so once I got into high school … I never did any art … photography … drawing or painting … those kind of things I’ve never been very strong at … I feel that I’m a very visual person … I like visual things … and now that I can kind of make up my own stuff … I know how I think things are going to look … and sometimes they look that way … and sometimes they don’t … In terms of the technical side of it … it’s where I’ve always sort of struggled … I think outside of theater … I didn’t do a lot outside of high school artistically … When I was about to graduate from high school … I started looking for colleges … and I wanted to go to a state school … I think because I thought there would be bigger … better opportunities … to do more interesting things … or meet more interesting people … My parents were very opposed to that … they wanted me to go to a Christian college … which my older siblings had both done … they had both gone to a small christian college in southern Illinois … and I didn’t want to go to that one … because I had been there before … it was Greenville College … kind of outside St. Louis … I had applied to Carbondale … to Southern … and I applied to Northern … I got into both of those … and the third one I applied to was Asbury in Kentucky … they also have a seminary attached to it … and that’s where my dad went to seminary … to become a preacher … I actually lived in that town until I was four … the same town where I ended up going to college … If I had been a more assertive person … which is not really my personality … I think I could have possible convinced my parents to send me to a state  school … where I wanted to go … but because I knew they were really pushing for me to go to a Christian school … I decide I would make the best of it … and I stayed all four years … I did apply to a school in upstate New York to transfer my junior year … but I didn’t get in … Asbury has a really interesting media program … They don’t have a film program at the school … but they have a film program that’s in LA that’s connected to the college … So you can go out to LA for a semester … and have an internship with a big studio … out there … I assumed I was going to be in film … I’m not entirely sure why … I always liked movies … I think I just thought that would be such a cool world to be a part of … My junior year I applied to get into the film program … and I didn’t get in … and then my senior year I applied to get into the film school and I didn’t get in … At that point … I had to switch my emphasis really quickly … I was still in media … but I switched my emphasis to performance … It wasn’t theater … it was just media performance … you would do on camera type stuff … because I had taken theater classes … or sort of the theater classes they had … for fun … so those could count for performance emphasis … I ended up graduating … in four years … because I really wanted to get out of there … it was just … not a good environment for me … I wanted to make the most of it … but the longer you’re there … the more you realize how restrictive it is … and how you feel you’re pushing against … how people think you should be … and how you should act … and what you should think … To be fair … they don’t market themselves as not being a conservative Christian college … so most of the people that go there … go because they want those kind of restrictions … they want people to think like them … they don’t want to be challenged … I just wasn’t that person … When you went to the school … you signed a guidebook … you signed a book basically saying you won’t do a.b.c.d … when I went there … and I think they’ve lightened up a little bit on some of these rules … but when I went there … there was no smoking … no drinking … on or off campus … regardless of whether you were 21 or not … no sex … and no … R rated movies … no dancing … probably some other things … all of those were things that you could get into trouble for … The longer you’re there … the more you kind of realize that people sort of break the rules … but it takes a while … because everybody presents that they’re not breaking the rules … because you could get in trouble for breaking the rules … because they could just point back to the fact that you signed saying you wouldn’t do this … and if you got caught doing it … you could get in big trouble … And the internet was … I wouldn’t say new … but we had web restrictions on our internet … so we couldn’t access a lot of sites … So it was interesting … but not in a good way … I would get some culture in Lexington … they had an arthouse theater there … that was really cool … they had regular theater … plays … and stuff like that … Once I had a car … or friends with cars … we would go to Lexington … and that was a nice escape … By the time I was a junior or senior … we broke a lot of the rules … we would smoke and drink … but they all had to be very sort of hidden … We would go to bars in Lexington … they had one gay bar … we would go there … But we had to … we would park in the parking garage and then go through a back alley … because if anyone saw us going in … we could get suspended … but we never got caught … we figured once we were in there … we were fine … because we were all in the same boat … it was a very … interesting … place to be I guess …I ended up graduating with a media communication degree with a performance emphasis … After college … I always wanted to either go to Chicago or New York … But Chicago is just easier … because my family’s closer … my family’s all within about three hours from here … so I had a little bit more of a support system … I knew … a friend of mine from high school had just graduated from a school … in New York … actually … The American Music Dramatic Academy … I think … So … he was moving here at the same time … so it turned out that I had somebody to move in … with … a roommate … So we moved here … basically the month after I graduated from college … I didn’t have a job … or anything like that … but I knew that I wanted to live in the city … I would just figure out a way to make it work … So then I got a job … was able to afford an apartment … For a while I considered moving out to New York … at some point … because I had a friend out there … but the more I stayed in Chicago … I just sort of … I like Chicago … it felt more my speed … It’s not overwhelming … there’s quiet places in Chicago … I wanted to be an actor when I moved to Chicago … that was my original thought … and then I did a couple of plays … when I first moved here … and I just kind of stopped … I didn’t have the confidence to keep auditioning … and not getting cast … I talked myself out of it a lot … At some point … I was … I haven’t acted in five or six years … I’m not going to start now … But then … when I got the job I currently have … which is an office job … it’s a nine to five … Monday through Friday … Until then I was working at Borders … So once I got that job … I had a more stable schedule … I decided … I didn’t really feel creatively fulfilled … I wanted to do something … I decided I would take some classes … and see what happens … So … I started taking some classes and I really enjoyed it … I met a bunch of people I really liked … I started with one class … they were Meisner classes …  and I moved to level two … and level three … I graduated from that program … from doing that … that’s how I got involved with this thing called No Shame Theater … which doesn’t exist anymore … it’s a theatrical open mike … that they did weekly … The place I took the classes was called Green Shirt Studio … They also had a theater called The Agency Theater Collective … The Agency ran No Shame … So at some point I started going … and I went there for a long time … without performing … eventually they asked me to start running the tech board … When I started running the tech board … I started getting the idea that maybe I could do something with … the lights … and music … and masks … that’s all stuff I’ve always been interested in … but didn’t have the confidence to create my own pieces … and to do things … I started sort of slowly … performing there … and the longer I did … the more confident I got about it … eventually I was performing a lot of different pieces I came up with … I would get people to help me … perform with me … and I started auditioning for plays again … I started getting cast in some plays … I wouldn’t say I’ve made a career of anything … I’m still doing the same day job I’ve always done … But I have a creative outlet now that I didn’t have before … That’s how I ended up knowing theater people … That’s how I ended up moving into the Loft … It was just through No Shame … and meeting everybody there … I thought … after living in a studio for nine years … maybe it was time to do something new … A lot of the pieces I’ve come up … happened before I moved into the Loft … because I didn’t live in there until just a year and a half ago … So being in the Loft … and meeting people … I would collaborate with them … The majority of the stuff I do … I wouldn’t have had a place to do it … its not exactly the kind of thing you go to a random open mic and say … I have these bicycle lights … and masks … and do this weird movement piece … There’s not usually a place where you feel comfortable doing that kind of stuff … So just having a place where I was comfortable … experimenting … do something I thought would look cool … I owed all of that to that group of people … Now … I feel I perform less … because I want to do something good … When things worked … at No Shame … I would take that … and polish it … The piece I did recently … at the fundraiser … was something I had done at No Shame … kind of on a dare … I was struggling to find something to do … so I had a friend … and she said … get naked … and I started thinking about a piece … where it was you being … I can’t do this … I came up with the idea of that … feeding into the sort of … feeling self conscious … and vulnerable … Have I felt a difference in cultural sensitivities? … In the shows I’ve done … I haven’t felt a huge shift … I think … because I haven’t done enough … shows … I’ve done maybe a dozen … but it’s all been within a short span of time … so I don’t know if I’ve been in a show for example … where I’d say … that thing we did in that show … we would not be able to do now … I would say with No Shame … part of the thing that spurred … the show we’re doing now … No Shame was an open mic … so it was very much … anybody has a platform … to … share whatever views they want … and I think … what ended up happening … as it went along … and I don’t know if that was a reaction to the MeToo movement … but we started getting more problematic acts … towards the end … people just saying things … or maybe it was that … it didn’t effect us early on … we started to be … this isn’t ok … there were a lot of guy stand-ups showing up … and just kind of saying things that were sexist … or racist … or homophobic … or transphobic … Eventually we got together and decided to end No Shame … It’s not what the people putting it on wants it to be … and it ran for seven years … it’s a national thing … so there are other No Shames in other parts of the country still happening … but we just decided … maybe having this open platform for everybody … to say what they’re thinking … isn’t the best thing … We decided to kill that … even though I loved it and got a lot out of it … So … the thing we’re doing now … it’s curated … It’s still a venue where people can express themselves … and do original work … But we can say … “What are you going to do?” … “What are you going to talk about?” … and sort of be able to filter it … Not saying that we’re going to censor the people that are going to show up … but maybe saying … maybe this isn’t the right space for this … I would hope that people are more conscious of a piece that they’re doing … I would hope … with all the media now … that people might think … that piece I did five years ago … that’s not going to fly now … that’s not something I should be doing anymore … Personally … I’m more conscious of doing things that wouldn’t potentially upset someone … I don’t enjoy humor at other peoples expense … I like doing something that people laugh at … or think is funny … or get some kind of amusement out of it … Actually … the stuff I do doesn’t have to be funny … that’s not dependent on making people laugh … if they do … that’s great … As far as social media … I would say I’m on it frequently … I’ll read what other people say … but I almost never post on social media … I worry about anything I say … that I’m putting something out in the world … for whatever reason … I feel weird about it … I tend not to post on social media … my opinions … and my thoughts … If I post I’m usually advertising … “Come see this show” … “Come see this show my friends are doing” … I do that on Facebook … As far as my personal life … I tend to not have it anywhere … just mainly with people I talk to … I’m ok if others say good things about me … I’m not the best self promoter … What will I be up to? … We’re doing a piece … at the Loft … based on Degas … the ballet paintings … I think we’ll be fine … I have no idea what it’s going to be … I definitely prefer to collaborate … I do a lot of movement … visual type things … but I’m not a choreographer … So a lot of times if I’m collaborating … it’s so much easier … So … that’s always kind of fun … Other then that … I’d love to stay at the loft for a while … and bring more shows there … I don’t know if I’ll be there for years … or just for a while … It’s a cool space … and a cool group of people … but it always feels sort of tenuous … like … what’s going to happen to this space … it’s an outlier in that neighborhood … we’re pretty much surrounded by condos … people with a lot more money then we have … We’re the one little thing … with artists on all floors doing shows … and concerts … Who knows how long that could go on … But for right now … its kind of cool … I’m definitely going to stay in Chicago … I can say that for sure … and hopefully still creating … something … doing shows … these variety shows … I do like doing these one off things …

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Brian 11-06-19

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Lindsay 11-16-19